Dear amy: I have a friend who I have known since high school.
He recently recovered from drinking.
He has been in the outpatient system for about six weeks and has been doing well.
A group of friends (
Including my recovery Friends)
We do two camping trips together every year.
We have been doing this for more than 20 years.
I have asked everyone who is on our camping trip for the next trip (
Two weeks later ,)alcohol-free.
I explained to them that I knew he would eventually have to face friends who drank in front of him, but it was too early.
The reaction from some groups was that I was not reasonable and I should not dictate what happened to the camping trip.
What should I do? —
Campmaster dear Campmaster: You are not responsible for the recovery of your friend. He is.
I applaud your supportive attitude and desire to help him get through the difficulties, but the simple fact is that he probably shouldn't be on a camping trip for this cycle.
It may be too early for him to leave town for an event that provides him with various triggers.
You can't expect people not to drink, and-
If they are more attached to their relationship with alcohol than their relationship with him --
They choose to drink.
The most responsible thing is to tell your recovery friend that you have tried it, but there is no guarantee that others will not drink.
He is encouraged to get in touch with the sponsor and maybe attend a support meeting instead of camping, (of course)
The final decision is up to him.
Dear Amy, I have a very lovely colleague.
Workers who keep blowing whistle in our open airconcept office.
In our previous position, there were some compartment walls that absorbed some sound, but there was no place to hide in our current space.
I tried to bring this up to our co-supervisor and he said, "Oh, I like to whistle!
"I mentioned to other colleagues that there is no problem.
The staff said their music was disturbing or they didn't use the internal sound and I couldn't hear my phone conversation.
However, I do not want to be the person in the office.
If she's doing something that many people think is "happy", I don't want to admit it makes it hard for me to focus. Ideas? —
Dear whistle: This situation reminds me of the "office" and Michael Scott's musical style is extremely disruptive.
For many people, it is painful to listen to others whistling all day.
For me, whistling is equivalent to being tied to a chair with a swinging bare bulb on top of my head --
I will admit anything in order for it to stop.
Your supervisor shouldn't say, "Oh, but I like it!
This is the essence of closing you.
Your lovely colleague may not realize that she will whistle when she works as often as she does.
Since her behavior has an impact on many others, you should not hesitate to remind her that you will find it disruptive.
You will say, "Now we are in an open
Planning Office, when you whistle, I find it hard to concentrate on answering my calls.
I appreciate your technology, but it's a distraction for me.
Earplugs are also helpful.
Dear amy: how sad it is that the author of the Illinois catcher is annoyed by the children stepping on the lawn.
No complaints of vandalism or use of profanity or anything else-
Use their lawn!
I was thrilled when the neighbor's child was riding a bike in my driveway-
A village is needed to raise children!
The kids are outside and don't stick to the video screen and they should be happy.
The children will grow up soon.
Isn't it great for all participants to build relationships between neighbors?
Maybe one day the author needs help and the children or their families can help.
I love my neighbor because we have established connections.
The receiver should consider a good-neighborly gift!
He might feel good. —
Dear Neighbor: I have been warned by a few people not to encourage the "catch man" to be a better and more positive neighbor.
I am too focused on the idea that children do not know or respect boundaries.
I think it's possible to show kids how to respect boundaries while being a good neighbor --
But I know what you mean.